don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
