last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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