I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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