worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
