okay pat passed out under dana's car
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
