She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
