wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize