do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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