doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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