I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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