They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
