i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
