Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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