I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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