I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
