the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
