Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
