Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize