No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
