I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
