ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
