in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
