rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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