i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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