Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sorry about my life...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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