How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
