You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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