Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
