haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
