When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
