pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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