I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
