Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
