I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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