New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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