I only kidnapped one of them. chill
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
