There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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