You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my shit smells like andre
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
