I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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