I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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