best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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