We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
