mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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