wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
