Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
