If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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