I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
