hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize