is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
