I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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