No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
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