Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
