My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
