North Korea, Best Korea!
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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