singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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