Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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